Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."
The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.
The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"
Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with two huge bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks, "What's in the bags?"
"Senior, it's only sand," replies Jose.
"Sand? Well, we'll just see about that - get off the bike!"
The guard takes the bags, rips them open, empties them out and finds nothing in them... except sand. Jose is detained overnight, and the sand is analysed - only to discover that it is in fact simply sand.
Jose is released, the sand is put into new bags and placed on Jose's shoulders, and he is let across the border.
Next day, same thing happens. The guard asks, "What you got there?"
"Sand," says Jose.
A thorough examination of the bags again shows there to be nothing but sand, and subsequently Jose is allowed to ride across the border.
For a whole year this continues until one day Jose doesn't show up, and the guard discovers him in a Cantina in Mexico.
"Hey, Bud," says the guard, "I know you're smuggling something. For a year it's driven me crazy. It's all I can think about... I can't get sleep, the kids are getting neglected... heck, even the dog senses I'm beginning to lose it! Between you and me, just what are you smuggling?"
Jose sips his beer, smiles and replies, "Bicycles..."
Three guys - an American, a Canadian, and a Mexican - have been on the road for days and were starving. Seeing a farm, with hundreds of fruits they run up to the fruit baskets and start gobbling as much as they can.
Just then, the Farmer comes out and says, "Ok, I'm in a good mood today, so I won't kill you... instead, you must stuff 100 of your favorite fruits up your but... WITHOUT laughing."
So, the American is up first. He chooses cherries and reaches 78 before bursting out laughing. The farmer then shoots him.
Next is the Canadian who chooses grapes. He reaches 93 but starts laughing so the farmer has to kill him too.
When the Canadian and the American arrived up in heaven, an angel asked them why they laughed.
They both replied, "We saw the Mexican with watermelons."
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