A random bloke that we saw in the street interviewed the Rasmus. And it was great. Really.
What a crazy bunch of Scandinavian scallywags!
G: Well, The Rasmus, hello. Bonjour and all that.
Band: Actually we’re Finnish.
G: Then how come you’ve got a French accent?
Band: Most foreign people speaking your language do.
G: I see. So you won’t want any croissants?
Band: If we knew what they were we’d probably say no.
G: Anyway, on with the questions. Lauri, there’s a rumour going round that you made passionate love to a hamster. Is that accusation justified?
L: Actually it was a gerbil, but it’s an amateurs mistake to think so.
G: Aha. Eor… drummer guy, what would you have been if not in a band?
E: Probably some kind of loser back in Finland.
G: This is incredibly enlightening. Would you work in Rekyavik?
E: That’s in Iceland.
G: I know.
(An awed silence.)
E: No.
G: Okay. Lauri, is there any reason for your incredibly spiky hair?
L: I can stick food up there and then snack when I feel like it.
G: And it doesn’t go off?
L: No, usually my rocking spirit keeps it cool.
G: Meaning what exactly?
L: I eat it anyway.
G: Next; guy at the back with a threatening expression, how did you join the band?
Guy: Shut the **** up, you **** ****. Why don't you all just **** ***?
G: Hmm. Surly. I like that in a man.
Guy: Shut up.
G: Have you ever actually been in the shadows?
Band: Yes. We like to get involved in our music.
G: Well, The Rasmus, thank you very much. Just out of interest, how much food have you got there in your hair?
L: Enough for all of us.
G: Actually, I’ll just be watching in the shadows…
L: Shut up.
G: Okay.
G: What has ever made you Guilty?
L: Making that Guilty video. It was just strange.
G: Makes sense really. Do you like tennis?
L: Actually we like Kimmi Raikonnen. She's sexy.
G: With a name like that I can only imagine.
